Why Choosing the Right Therapist Matters
When couples come to me for help, more often than not what they say is, “We tried therapy before, but it didn’t feel like a fit.” That always gives me pause—because for therapy to work, the bond you form with your counselor is as essential as their training. In Los Angeles, we are spoiled for choice—yet that abundance can feel overwhelming. In this guide, I’ll walk you through how I help couples decide on a marriage counselor in L.A., what I encourage you to look for, and how I position myself as a Marriage and Family Therapist (MFT) who is deeply committed to creating a safe and effective space for couples to heal and reconnect.
Understanding What Makes Couples Therapy Different
Many well-meaning therapists list “couples” under their services, but couples work requires a distinct skill set. In individual therapy, the therapist often aligns closely with one person’s process. In couples therapy, I must engage both partners fairly, with neutrality, while holding space for conflict, emotion, attachment wounds, and relational patterns at once.
Couples therapy in Los Angeles, with all its pressures—time constraints, traffic, ambition, cultural diversity—demands flexibility. I often blend approaches like Emotionally Focused Therapy, narrative work, and communication tools. Research from the American Psychological Association shows that the therapeutic relationship itself is one of the most important predictors of success in therapy. My aim is to create what I call “a relational container,” where both voices are heard and both are accountable to change.
Assess Credentials, Experience, and Fit
One of the first questions I ask couples to consider is: how has this therapist trained to work with couples? A license as an MFT, psychologist, or clinical social worker is foundational—but what distinguishes effective couples therapists is focused, deep training in relational modalities such as Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) or Gottman Method.
In my own practice, I emphasize more than two decades of experience working with individuals, couples, and families. My focus includes intimacy, communication breakdowns, rebuilding trust after betrayal, and addressing relational trauma. Because of this, I encourage couples to explore a therapist’s background and see whether their training and voice resonate before committing to the work.
Experience in Los Angeles also matters. Urban life in L.A. brings pressures that may not exist elsewhere: long commutes, dual careers, cultural expectations, and social mobility. As someone who lives and practices here, I understand those unique stressors and integrate that awareness into my work with couples.
The Consultation: Your First Real Test
When you reach out to me, I offer a brief consultation. That conversation is more than logistics—it is your opportunity to sense whether emotionally both of you feel seen. I encourage couples to use that call to inquire: How do you handle sessions when one partner withdraws? How do you repair after a rupture in session?
Notice how your prospective counselor answers—not just their content but tone, empathy, and curiosity. I pay attention to whether both partners feel included from the very first interaction. A red flag for me is a therapist who seems uneasy holding tension between two people or who immediately jumps into “homework” without first inviting your stories.
In early sessions, I often model transparency: I reflect on what I’m noticing, invite feedback, and explain why I intervene when I do. That sets a tone of collaboration.
Logistics, Format, and Practical Considerations
No matter how skilled a therapist is, if the format or schedule doesn’t work for you, it will undercut progress. In L.A., I often recommend flexible options: hybrid in-office plus secure video sessions, or block intensives when couples want deeper engagement without weekly fragmentation.
Cost and insurance transparency are also vital. I make sure to clearly outline fees and provide super bills for reimbursement when appropriate. Transparency builds trust from the start, and that trust is part of the therapeutic alliance.
Another practical factor is location. While we aim for metaphorical proximity in therapy, physical distance, commute time, and scheduling must not become constant friction points. For couples who prefer more flexibility, telehealth options can provide the consistency needed to stay engaged. Studies from Psychology Today highlight how virtual therapy is increasingly effective for couples who might otherwise be unable to attend in person.
The First Few Sessions: What I’m Listening For
In the early work, I pay attention to how conflict cycles emerge, how emotional safety is or isn’t created, what each partner’s internal world is behind the surface blame or shut-down, and how attachment wounds drive patterns. I’m listening for what is unspoken as much as what is spoken.
I’ll often ask you to slow down during escalation, notice small signals of disconnection, and help you articulate vulnerable needs behind defensiveness. Therapy is not about judgment—it’s about discovering what lies beneath the patterns that feel stuck.
During those early weeks, I’ll also invite you to reflect on what feels helpful and what feels frustrating about our process. That kind of transparency ensures we are building something collaborative, not one-sided.
Signs You’re in a Good, Evolving Therapeutic Relationship
Over time, you should notice shifts: quieter defenses, more curiosity toward each other’s pain, incremental experiments in communication, and the ability to pause instead of reacting.
As external stress builds in Los Angeles life, I look for whether couples are able to take what happens in our sessions and integrate it into their daily routine—while driving home, managing work deadlines, or handling family responsibilities.
If at any point you feel stuck, misunderstood, or hesitant to bring up your concerns about the therapy itself, I want you to voice that. I consider those moments opportunities to strengthen trust and deepen the process.
What Makes My Practice Different
When couples sit with me, my hope is that they experience more than a set of credentials. I strive to create an atmosphere of emotional safety, clinical depth, and genuine partnership.
I also offer premarital counseling through the same lens, helping couples establish strong communication and resilience before marriage. I intentionally keep a smaller caseload so that I can give each couple the attention and continuity they deserve. My philosophy is that healing happens relationally, not through lectures or quick fixes. My role is to accompany you—to help you name what is hidden, reach deeper emotional access, and move toward new relational rhythms.
Take Courage, Stay Curious
Looking for a marriage counselor in Los Angeles can feel like wandering in a desert of options. But trust that even one thoughtful consultation can shift your trajectory. As you explore your choices, I encourage you to notice whether your heart feels lighter in response to a therapist’s voice, whether you feel emotionally visible, and whether you can imagine doing the work—even when it’s uncomfortable.
If you'd like to consider working together, I welcome you to reach out to me directly. Together, we can explore whether this partnership feels like the right fit. Whichever path you choose, may it lead you and your partner into more attuned connection, deeper empathy, and relational aliveness in this vibrant—and demanding—city we call home.
